There’s a strange underlying pattern I discovered a few years back; and I suspect a subplot though it hasn’t entirely revealed itself. Whenever, and though it hasn’t been habitual nor even often, I have given up some single thing–and I use the phrase given up because I really pay attention to prepositions and put a lot of stock in locational thinking and proximity, and the words given up lead me to imagine actually handing something upward to be taken from my grip by God–whenever I have decided to abandon my obsessive control of some idea or decision or aspect of my life, whether it be my finances or my anger or my sexuality, I have consistently found that God returns that exact item to me, and fairly quickly, only in an entirely new form. My anger is focused but righteous instead of misdirected, rude, and self-righteous. My financial investments are blessed beyond belief and my needs are always met. My sexuality is intensified and my understanding of the world’s sexual nature is calming and makes prudence and satisfaction attainable and enticing. This incredible pattern of giving things away only to have them returned as they were originally intended, sharper and more beautiful, is one of the most encouraging miracles I believe I can depend on. There is a lesson in trust and renewal beneath these allegories somewhere; but for now, the grace indicated by a God who gives new eyes and ears, a new heart and new hope, is sufficient, and that is amazing. Amazing grace.
Give up. I bet you you’ll get it back. Only better.
yours,
Clifton Jennings
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